Tears roll down my face
Silent drops of water
Empty of emotions
Too far gone to notice
I'm somewhere but not here
Balancing on the edge of reason
I'm barely clinging to this moment
Fingers greasy from junk food thoughts
So tempting to let go
I'm not afraid to fall
A tempting release
From the struggle of it all
Long to be free to float to oblivion
Become lost in the invisible kingdom
Sever the cords
So I don’t drag you down
I'll dissapear in the nothingness
free from my own mind
I wrote this poem the day before I was taken into hospital. I was crying but I felt numb. I was tired after a week of not sleeping, I felt like I was about to fall off the edge of all rational and logical behaviour and I didn't care, I no longer had the energy to care. I wanted to close my eyes and sleep forever, I wanted to disappear. I thought that if I shut myself off from everybody then no one would be dragged down with me when I fell - but that as I now know is impossible.
