I lie here
crystal bubbles
containing my hope
escaping from my eyes
my faith lingers
around experts that do not understand
chained by a misplaced belief
the 'expert syndrome'
I try to use my strength to will myself well
but it is incomplete without faith in myself
so I'll sit here
Hoping that I will not fall
Because although half of me would welcome the flight
the other half is still standing strong through the adversity of it all.
My family and I often had to battle with the so called ' experts' in hospitals etc that refused to listen to what was actually happening to me, because they already had an idea in their mind about how a stereotypical anorexic/depressed patient would behave. This was one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I have heard it said that ' you are your own best expert' and I think in some cases this is true. On many occasions I would feel compelled to comply with advice from professionals who actually had no experience of eating disorders just because they were ' authoritive figures'. This often meant going against my own better judgment and gut feeling
